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Missions (Part 1)
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Missions (Part 1)
Likes received: 839
Posted: 2017.04.15 20:07
Edited by: Silver Strike44
Alias: Where are we going?
Neck: I don't fu cking know, DK has the map.
DK: What map? He just gave us an address.
Shep: OK, what was it?
DK: I don't know, Alias was supposed to remember.
Shep: Whose moment of genius was it to have that lobotomy volunteer remember anything more than what number the Big Mac is on the menu?
DK: That's just what happens when Silver isn't here. We give Alias the most important job.
Alias: Yeah, why is that?
Neck: Just keep driving, fu ck- ni gger.
DK: We had Alias drive and remember the address?
Alias: Yeah, except I didn't actually remember how to do either of those things.
Neck: Are you that fu cking brain-dead? You're driving right now.
Alias: No, I put it in cruise control.
Shep: That's not really how that works, Alias.
Alias: Well, it's worked so far.
DK: How do you forget how to drive?
Alias: I never learned.
Neck: Then how do you transport your fat a ss to McDonald's five times a day.
Alias: I walk. If I don't then the Big Macs go straight to my neck.
DK: Or you could just not go to McDonald's and then there wouldn't be any Big Macs to go to your neck.
Alias: But then my heart would stop.
Neck: I thought you were a fat ugly ni gger. Turns out you're a stupid fat ugly ni gger.
Shep: You just noticed that? You've been around him long enough that you might as well have watched his lobotomy. Did you have one too?
DK: I guess I'm going to drive then since dipsh it here can't.
Neck: Fu ck you, I'll drive.
Shep: Are either of you two even old enough to drive?
Neck: Old enough to fu ck your mother, bi tch-ni gger.
Alias: If he's a ni gger and you had sex with his mom, doesn't that mean you had sex with a ni gger.
Neck: No his dad's the ni gger.
Alias: At least he has a dad.
DK: Yeah, and aren't ni ggers usually the ones who don't have dads? Guess Neck's the real ni gger here.
Neck: You don't have a dad either, fu ck- f ag.
DK: At least I'm not a ni gger.
Neck: Yes you are you fu cking white-palmed, pink-lipped, slave-ni gger.
Alias: Neck, I'm going to need you to stop being so racist. It disrupts my driving.
Shep: So you figured out how to drive? I guess even chimps can learn.
Alias: No, I still don't know how, but now I'm blaming Neck.
Shep: Neck, just call him and ask what the address is.
Neck: Why the fu ck do I have to do it?
Shep: Because you're the master of the Skype call.
DK: Do you get it, Neck? It's because you jerked off to Black Ice over Skype that one time.
Neck: I absolutely fu cking didn't you qu eer mother-fu cker.
Alias: Are you talking about fu cking ni gger-moms again?
Neck: No, I'm talking about sh itting down your fu cking neck hole if you don't shut the fu ck up.
DK: Is that why they call you NoNeck? Because you don't have a di ck or balls and you're a whiny bi tch?
Alias: What does that have to do with no Neck?
DK: What do you mean? That perfectly describes NoNeck.
Shep: They call him NoNeck because he doesn't have a neck hole for me to sh it down so I have to sh it straight in his mouth.
Neck: All you fu cking jigga boos can shut the fu ck up or I'll fu cking annihilate all of you. Now let me drive, fu ck- wad.
Shep: Alright, peewee, I'll grant you an honorary learner's permit if you call and ask for the address.
Neck: Fu cking fine. I'll call him since you're all either too re tarded or too pu ssy to do it.
Neck: Hello, sir. Could you please remind us what the address is? It seems to have slipped all of our silly minds.
Gus: Oh, you silly boys. Don't make me get the ball gags out again. But I'll let this one slide. The address is 10 1st St.
Neck: Thank you kindly, sir. Have a wondrous evening.
Gus: Do what I sent you to do and maybe I will.
Neck: The address is 10 1st St. you fu cking re tards.
Shep: Alias, you couldn't even remember that?
Alias: I can't remember and drive at the same time.
DK: Yeah, but any other human being can. That includes autists and down syndrome-havers.
Alias: But you say I'm both of those things all the time.
DK: You are and so much more.
Neck: Yeah, like a bi tch and a f ag and a re tard and obese and of course a homely ni gger.
Alias: Why do you guys always say I'm fat?
DK: Because you eat so much McDonald's, what do you mean?
Alias: But I'm not fat.
Neck: But you are still a fa ggot-a ss fat fu ck.
Shep: How long have we been stopped?
Alias: About 20 minutes.
Neck: But you said you were driving, a ss-clown.
Alias: No, I said I had it in cruise control.
Neck: What the fu ck ever, qu eer-bate. You're still re tarded.
Alias: Actually, you're all re tards. You couldn't even tell the car was parked at the address for the last 20 minutes.
DK: Alias, did you just troll us?
Alias: Yeah, and I can't believe it worked. You would actually have to be a re tard to believe that I walk to McDonald's. Neck even called Gustavo.
Shep: Wow, I'm actually impressed, Alias.
Neck: Still a ni gger.
Shep: Well, then I guess you just got wrecked by a ni gger Neck. Or dare I say PIKED.
Neck: Let's just fu cking do this then.
DK: Who brought the guns.
Shep: I think I know how this is about to go. It was Alias' job, right?
Alias: Yeah, it was my job.
Shep: And you forgot the guns?
Alias: Yeah, I forgot the guns.
Neck: Of fu cking course.
Alias: But I did remember gun.
DK: Why are you like this?
Alias: Like what?
Shep: Why is there only one gun?
Alias: Silver said we didn't need to waste money on any more.
DK: He couldn't afford a few pistols but he could afford a military grade sniper?
Alias: He had a coupon
Neck: Where is that fu cking Jew?
Alias: I think he's clipping more coupons.
Shep: Well, you seem to be on top of things, Alias, so I guess you should hold the gun.
Alias: Good, because I wasn't giving it to any of you fu cking re tards anyways.
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