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The Election (Part 8)

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#1 Posted: 2017.01.06 05:44  |  Edited by: Silver Strike44
Silver: Well, what do you have to say about these pedophile accusations, Neck?
Neck: Look, I didn't know she was nine when we met.
Air: Oi, I thought she was 12.
Alias: She's 12 now. She was nine years old three years ago when this fa ggot started skyping her.
Neck: Who are you calling a fa ggot you greasy, McDonald's-guzzling, di ck-guzzling, load-swallowing, fat-fu ck, ni gger-fa g?
Alias: You. And how can you me a fa g if I have a girlfriend and you don't?
Neck: Because you're a fu cking fa ggot.
Air: That's not a very good reason, m8. Alias does have a point.
Silver: I concur. Points.
Neck: This fa ggot is the one with the 12 year old girlfriend, not me.
Alias: You're the one who beat off to her every day.
Neck: You're the one who got his fat fu cking neck sucked by her.
Alias: You wish she would suck you, Neck.
Neck: Yeah, I ain't no fa g.
Alias: So you're a pedophile.
Neck: But it never happened. What did happen was her sucking on that revolting fu cking slab on top of your shoulders.
Silver: Did she really suck on your neck?
Neck: Yes, I fu cking watched it happen!
Silver: So you watched a child perform a sexual act over the internet? You basically watched child po rn?
Neck: Yeah, but I didn't fu cking do anything!
Silver: You didn't do anything to stop this minor from being taken advantage of by this behemoth even though you could have?
DK: I might have ra ped a few ugly bi tches, but I didn't do anything like that, jeez.
Gus: Yeah, holy moly.
Neck: Shut the fu ck up you bi tch-ni ggers.
Silver: Well, I think I've heard enough on this subject. How about you, Destroyer?
Destroyer: I just have one last thing to add, m8. It's jolly roger if they're 12 in the UK. Also, she could do a lot better than that heavy wanker.
Ice: Teehee.
Neck: Yeah, she could be with me.
Destroyer: Oi, did I say worse, m8? No. So, shut up bi tch-boy. I meant like me. Want to get some tea, lass?
Ice: Sure, Destroyer.

Ice and Destroyer walk off into the sunset together. As they walk out the door, two men in sombreros enter and sit down.

DK: Those look like a couple of bad hombres.
Silver: Let's move on. What else do you guys have?
Neck: Since I knew DK would pull all this under-handed sh it like the ni gger he is, I lined up some shady sh it of my own. I brought that ugly bi tch Pack.
Gus: Dude, nobody cares about fu cking Pack.
DK: Yeah, she's pretty irrelevant. It doesn't even matter that I ra ped her.
Neck: No, this is new.
Silver: OK, what is it?
Neck: Speak, you worthless wh ore.
Pack: OK, the thing is this ni gga DK had my whole family and all my ni ggas dead-ass iced in the street.
Silver: How do you know it was him?
Pack: It was some ni ggas in white robes on horseback chanting his name when they did it. I knowed it had to be his goons when I sawed they had glocks. Ain't no ni gga in my hood can afford a glock.
Gus: Wait, were the people that got killed ni ggers or wi ggers.
DK: Everyone that I shot was black. Can't say about my fellow clan members.
Neck: Oh, they were all bl- ni ggers. Never mind, you can get your bi tch-a ss out of here. You can't help me.
Pack: Can I at least get some of that guy's kush?
Kalash: Huh? No.
DK: You know what? Fu ck this bi tch.

DK pulls out a glock and ices Pack.

Neck: Why didn't you do that before?
DK: I thought it would be funnier to see her reaction to everyone she cared about being killed.
Silver: Was it?
DK: it was, but I just wanted to throw up again looking at her now.
Silver: I think it's fair to say we all did.
Neck: I think she's actually less disgusting with her brains splattered on the floor.
Silver: Agreed. I guess if there's nothing else, I guess I'll crown a king. I mean, select a president. Sorry, force of habit. Speak now or forever hold your peace.
Shep: Wait. Before you choose one of these total fa gwads to be president, really think about who's more lobotomized. They both have scandals associated with them. DK has that school, all those rapes, and the slavery. Neck has the pedophilia, betrayal of his parties ideology regarding equality of minorities including blacks, and that whole primary rigging thing that wasn't talked about that much.
Neck: Why the fu ck would you bring that up? Most people don't even know about that.
Shep: Don't make me fu ck your a ss in front of all these people. Basically, they both have their problems, so what else is there?
Their presidential endorsements. DK is being endorsed by a stupid pothead from the other party that he paid off. I am a respectable former president endorsing Neck because I believe in his abilities and views for the most part.
DK: Respectable president, huh? I didn't want to have to do this, but bring them in.

Countless females pour in.

DK: What do you have to say about this, Shepherd?
Shep: Who are all these women?
DK: Women you fu cked.
Shep: Oh, sh it, really? There must be hundreds. I only remember a few of them. I mean, I loved, cared for, and definitely remember all of you.
DK: These four over here say they were with you for quite a while. Sarah, Rachel, Rachel, and Camera, will you please step forward?

Shep sprints out of the building.
#2 Posted: 2017.01.06 05:46  |  Edited by: Silver Strike44
DK: Respectable president my a ss.
Neck: Actually, I doubt he would be respectful to your a ss. He never is to mine.
DK: So, your husband was banging hundreds of girls while married to you?
Neck: I always suspected he was hoarding all the pu ssy for himself, but I never caught him.
Alias: You were probably too busy beating off to Ice.
Neck: Why the fu ck are you still here?
Alias: Are you re tarded? I can't move. Look at my neck.
DK: Jesus Christ, did it get bigger?
Alias: Yeah, it just grows by the minute now and never stops. The 30 guys who carried me in here can't even lift me anymore.
DK: Well, there are about 900 women here that I don't need anymore. I'll pay them to carry you out just so I don't have to look at your neck anymore.
Alias: I probably only need 899 of them to lift me. Can you have one of them go get me some McDonald's?
DK: Get him the fu ck out of here.

The women carry Alias out of the building.

DK: Well, I guess by Shep's logic since Neck has no president here to endorse him, I should win.
Kalash: Actually, I think I'm going to get out of here, too.
DK: Wait. We had a deal.
Kalash: I'm out of weed and I have the munchies.
DK: I'll get you more weed and some food.
Kalash: Nah, I think I'm just going to go home and take a nap.

Kalash leaves.

Silver: I guess if that's everything, I'll just tally up the points.
Gus: I think I'm going to take off, too, guys.
Silver: Don't you want to know if you won?
Gus: Nah, I just remembered my mom told me to pick up some batteries for our smoke detectors at home.
Silver: I thought you said you removed those batteries because the government spies on people through their smoke detectors.
Gus: Yeah, I said that, but I just say stuff sometimes. I don't know why.
Silver: Didn't you also say you're really old? Shouldn't your mom be dead?
Gus: That wasn't true either. Didn't you say you're really old, too, though.
Silver: Everyone's probably better off thinking that was a lie, too. It works better for my long troll.
DK: Long troll?
Silver: Yeah, don't worry about it.
Gus: Alright, later, guys.

Gustavo and everyone in the audience but the two men in sombreros leave.

Silver: I guess they were all here for Gustavo.

The two men approach the stage.

Munson: Nowhere to run now, DK.
Mojo: Si, end of the line, holmes.
DK: I knew they were a couple of bad hombres.

They both draw their revolvers.

Munson: Any last words, bi tch?
Mojo: Before you're muerto?
DK: I'll give you one myofibril stimulant and one fu cking minor if you kill Neck instead of me.
Neck: Wait, what? Fu ck you, bi tch-ni gger. They came here to kill you, not me.
Munson: Make it two fu cking minors.
DK: Deal.

The two unload their revolvers into Neck like they were both Shep's di ck and Neck's whole body was his ass, which it might as well be because his a ss is bigger than the rest of his body at this point sort of like Alias' neck, but not to nearly the same degree. As Neck falls to the ground, his last few words can be heard faintly: fu ck every single last co ck-sucking, mother-fu cking, bi tch-a ss, j ew-nosed, ch ink-eyed, fa ggot-a ss, ni gger-a ss piece of sh it bi tch-ni gger cu nt-mouthed, co on-ass, Alias-lookin' total and utter ni gger who ever lived and especially DK. Then Munson and Mojo leave.

DK: So, I win right?
Silver: Yeah, sure.
Capital Acquisitions LLC
#3 Posted: 2017.01.12 23:21
Absolute masterpiece...
#4 Posted: 2017.02.03 19:46
#5 Posted: 2017.05.01 22:26
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