The War Room

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Missions (Part 7)

#1 Posted: 2017.07.08 23:49  |  Edited by: Silver Strike44
Gus: I need you guys to get me weapons of mass production.
Shep: Why in the flying fu ck do you need weapons of mass destruction?
Gus: I said production, not destruction.
DK: OK, so why do you need weapons of mass production?
Neck: And what makes them weapons if they're for production, ni gger? I mean nice guy.
Gus: I need them to mass produce weapons of mass destruction.
Alias: So why didn't you just say you need weapons of mass destruction?
Shep: And I'll ask again; why in the absolute flying fu ck do you need weapons of mass destruction?
Gus: To kill that weeb-hating wi gger McLovin.
Alias: But couldn't you just use a gun or something?
Gus: Fu ck no, what do I look like, some pu ssy-eating bi tch?
Shep: Nope.
Gus: You're da mn right I'm not. Now go. And I'm sending someone with you bunch of re tards so you don't fail me again.
DK: If we're re tards, then why do you keep hiring us?
Gus: I like the way one of you looks in a skirt, but I'm not telling you which one. Now get going. He's waiting outside.
Blitz: Alright, you fu cking pu ssies, let's go fu ck up some fa ggot-a ss mother-fu ckers with our superior gun game.
Neck: Well, if it isn't the fattest, ugliest ni gger I know.
Blitz: You're the only ni gger here, Neck. And you smell like fu cking sh it.
Neck: All ni ggers smell like sh it, fu cking re tard. If you weren't such a ni ggerific baby-di ck dipsh it you would've realized that that last part was irrelevant as you are. Now get down on your knees and suck my di ck you fu cking piece of sh it.
Blitz: You'd like that, you qu eer-a ss fa ggot. You're just as much of a homo as you are a ni gger as proved by every last bit of dribble that left your mouth just know as you tried to express your incoherent and very sad thoughts coming from a uniquely small and empty mind. Almost as small as your co ck and empty as your nu tsack.
Neck: Now, listen here you fat, ugly, foul, co ck-sucking, monkey-lipped, di ck-riding, irrelevant, fa ggot-a ss, baby-di cked, short-haired, di ckless, nutless, gaped-a ssholed, di ck-licking, simple-minded, stupid, re tarded, stinking, mother-fu cking, bi tch-a ss, fa ggot-a ss, co ck-sucking, fat, ugly fu cking foreigner, you can slide your tongue right into my virgin anus and tickle my prostate while you give me a reach-around and then I'll consider letting you speak another word.
Alias: What's a reach-around?
Shep: I think it's when you're at the movie theater and you yawn and put your arm around a girl.
Blitz: Again with all that fu cking g ay sh it, Neck. Christ, I know you have long hair like a woman and like co ck more than anything in this word, but god damn if you aren't the qu eerest mother-fu cker on this planet. Now, to address your argument. Well, it wasn't actually an argument. All your tiny, primitive brain can conjure up to try to attack me is meaningless insults. Nothing clever, nothing of substance. You even managed to use up all of the insults you know so you had to reuse some in the same sentence to use more lines of text than I just had. Now let's just do this job so I never have to think about you again.
Neck: At least I'm not a ni gger.
Alias: So, who is this?
DK: Neck already said, this is the fattest, ugliest ni gger he knows.
Alias: OK, so who is this fat, ugly ni gger?
DK: Oh, that's Blitz. He's an OK, dude.
Alias: So is he going to suck Neck's di ck or is Neck going to suck his di ck?
Shep: I guess we'll have to find out after this commercial break.
DK: What?
Shep: That's where the commercial would go.
Alias: What commercial?
Neck: Yeah, what the fu ck are you talking about?
Blitz: Oh look, another thing Neck's puny brain can't comprehend.
Gus: Why the fu ck are you guys just standing out here yelling? Hurry the fu ck up.
Neck: Yes, sir.
Blitz: Why do you talk to him like he holds the key to your chastity belt?
Gus: I don't think he quite remembers the specifics of it, I'm sure that he's repressed those memories, but he knows something or another will happen to him if he doesn't speak to me like I'm his big daddy. Now, I'm not going to say it again, bring me what I want.
Blitz: Climb in, I'm driving.
Alias: The thing is, I'm the one who drives here.
Blitz: Do you know how to drive this WWII tank that my na zi grandfather left for me?
Alias: Uh, yeah, sure.
Blitz: OK then.
Neck: Is this as fast as this fu cking piece of sh it goes?
Blitz: This is a 75-year-old tank with heavy explosive damage and no more tread, of course this is as fast as this thing goes. Did you think it was your daddies Cadillac?
DK: Of course he didn't, his daddies Cadillac is at the bottom of a swimming pool.
Neck: What the fu ck do you mean?
DK: You said your dad drove into a swimming pool and broke his neck.
Neck: I said he dove into a pool and broke his neck, you dumb ni gger.
Alias: Is that why your name is NoNeck? You were named after your dad?
DK: Wait, is it?
Neck: No, you black person.
Shep: So, where did you get your name, Neck? Enlighten us.
Blitz: We all know Neck was born with no pe nis or spine, but what you don't know is that those weren't the only bones he wasn't born with. He also doesn't have bones in his Neck, so there's nothing to hold his head higher than his shoulders. Thus, he has no neck.
Neck: Don't listen to this re tard who is stupider than an infant ni gger. I was tired of having to use my huge co ck to fu ck Blitz's mom one time, so I decided to eat the bi tch out. As you can imagine, she was loose as sh it because she's a humongous wh ore, so my whole head and neck went in there. You couldn't see my neck because it was buried in po on so they call me NoNeck. I actually almost drowned.
DK: Like your dad in the swimming pool?
Blitz: Unlike Neck's di ck in any pu ssy ever. In case you didn't understand Neck, I'm saying you've never got your di ck wet.
Neck: Actually, Blitz-ni gger, I've beat off in the shower more than once just today. Ni gger.
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